Thursday, January 28, 2010

Blah days

My life has been pretty boring lately and I haven't had much to say on here, so I haven't wrote anything in a long while. It's cold out and work is work, boring and I never feel like going. I need to make some change to my daily routine, shake things up a bit. I also need to start exercising more. I lost so weight last summer and it was great, not much mind you but some. Well I put all that weight back on in the last month or so.

I used to always like winter but I've just started to notice recently that I always seem to be more depressed during the winter months. This I believe is relatively normal, everyone suffers from the winter blues. Lack of good sunlight I think some believe is the cause. But I don't normally spend much time out in the sun anyway even during the summer so that doesn't seem right for me. What do I know though?

I've really been trying to think of something to write lately. I found some old tape recorders I had from years ago and they sit next to my bed now so in case I have anymore ideas at night I can record my thoughts and write them down later. But I haven't used them at all yet so who knows how well this plan will work.

The basic idea for the story I have right now is it is the modern day, or maybe just slightly into the future, and the Fae have made their presence publicly known. One thing the Fae have been doing for years is replacing human babies with Fae babies to be raised as humans, called changelings. Well the story is going to be about a changeling who's Fae ability is shape shifting into a wolf and back to human, so of course to most people he would just be called a werewolf. And his friend happens to be an old leprechaun. The basic idea of the story is going to be about how they are just trying to live their lives in a world that is still trying to figure out how to deal with the Fae being among them. Of course this is all likely going to change if or when I get around to writing any of it.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Foggy with low visibilty

Why my writing methods suck. I had the open lines to a poem in my head not to long ago. Just two or three lines but that's all I usually start with for my random little musings. Now I can remember nothing but three words, "Night born fantasies."

If I employed a more "normal" writing method I would have jotted down the lines right when they came to me and spent some of the time between then and when I finally got here to write it out on figuring out the rest of the poem. Instead I just blissfully kept on doing whatever it was that I was doing and now I can't remember anything.

Now one might read my musings and say "oh well" because none of them really make sense or amount to anything anyway. But the same thing I do for my little nonsense poems is what I do for my stories I try to write. The other day I thought up a whole speech one character was giving another and it had some really good lines in it. But I was busy doing something else at the time and didn't take any notes. Now all I am left with is a vague impression of what that bit of dialogue was about and no details like I had already wrote once in my head.

Damn my inferior brain for not storing stuff like a hard drive, where one usually only has to write something once and it stays there until you delete it. Nope me, I do things more like writing on a mirror after a shower. You know how the mirror always fogs up, well eventual that condensation leaves and everything you wrote disappears. Sure you can steam up the mirror again and might still be able to read it but its not very clear. Anyway that's sort of like my brain, all foggy and not clear at all.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...

I think there are many more roads than just two in front of me and which one I take now may very well set the rest of my life on a path I never dreamed. Many little decisions ahead of me I think and no idea which is ultimately the best one. Easily enough I can pick out what might be considered the "safest" route, boring that it may be. Also I could pick out the exciting and risky path well enough, but I foresee only pain and loneliness at the end of that road. It's the road in the middle, the ones that seem to blend together weaving back and forth and crisscrossing that is so hard for me to pick from.

If I wake up tomorrow and set my foot down the wrong path then what? Will it be too late to change paths? A house, my job, a relationship, a friendship, etc... which of these waits along which paths? Stepping into a fog and wondering blind is what I feel like sometimes.

May my goddess help illuminate my path and may I be smart enough to see the signs.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Tread Lightly

There are no glass slippers here
Lava rocks sear your feet
Molten magma pours as passion from my heart
Leaving me empty and confused

Tangled web we weave
In our dance under twilight moon
Night blossomed flower in your hair
And the clouds under your feet

Tread lightly through my mind
And be gentle with my heart
Too many tears have I shed
For something that was all in my head

Staring up at beauty in the sky
Moon full and graceful as it dances through the night
In my arms I clutch a picture frame
With nothing in it but air

NAO 1/15/2010
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As usually I have no idea what I'm trying to say here. The opening doesn't really seem to fit the rest of the poem, but what do I know. I merely type the words as my muse whispers them to my soul.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Rant: Sex Ed

Ok, it's a topic that has popped up a couple of times in the last few days and it's been awhile since I've posted a rant. The first time it popped up was on a rerun of an episode of King of the Hill, and the other was on a web comic I follow.

The classic argument is that schools have no business teaching sexual education to children, that's something the parents should teach their children. Personally I do think it is something the parents should teach their children, but the fact of the matter is most parents won't, or will wait until it's too late. They will be to embarrassed to talk to their kids about it and the children were probably raised in such a way to be embarrassed to talk to their parents about it. So everyone just ends up to embarrassed to really talk about it.

But it goes deeper than parents just not wanting schools to teach it to their children. People seem to think sex ed some how encourages the students to go out and have sex. I don't really remember much of the sex ed my school gave but I know it in no way encouraged me to go out and have sex. I also know it could have been way better. I think I came away with more questions than answers, but like I said I don't remember much of it.

The point is children will find out about sex whether its taught in school or not. I remember knowing about sex, even if I didn't know the actual mechanics of it, at a very young age. And at school you hear things, and somebody will always find their dad or brother's porn stash, and with the Internet its even easier to find that stuff if parents don't watch what their kids are doing, and is that where kids should be learning about sex?

As far as I know most sex ed classes come with a parental consent form. So parents out there if you really think the school has no business teaching your children about sex, don't sign the form, but be sure to teach them yourself or be ready to face the consequences. But just because you don't want the school to teach your child, that doesn't mean you have any right to try to ban the school from teaching the children of parents that realize they aren't prepared to teach their own children about it and that want the school to teach their children.

And as a side note: Abstinence only sex ed classes are the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Teenagers will have sex, there is no stopping this, it's part of our DNA. For gods sake teach them how to have safe sex before it's too late.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

"That which is, is. That which will be, will be. That which was, never happened."

Um yeah I have no idea why I just thought that but it was funny to me. Anyway it has a bit of a point. We can't change that which is happening as it happens to us. We can only change how we react to it. We can't change what will happen in the future. We can only prepare ourselves for all possibilities as best we can. We can't change what has already happened. We can only learn from it and be better prepared the next time it happens.

Discuss.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

It's just the beginning

He looked like nobody, this man. That is to say he looked like everybody, so much so that you just looked right past him. Just another nobody on the street going about his business. But the things this man would say, completely utterly ridiculous things that at once you knew could not be true, and yet you knew this man never spoke a lie. This man did not have the bearing of a liar so this totally utterly ridiculous things he spoke could only be true.

Innocuous this man may seem at first, but his hidden truths once revealed can not be secreted away again. Daniel had passed him once on his way to work last week. And then again on his way home from the theater just the night before. Neither time did Daniel stop and listen to what he was saying, more mumbling to himself really, yet somehow Danial could clearly recall all the words like they wear branded onto his brain or carved into his very bones, they were stuck so deep into his soul.

He couldn't bear to repeat those words. Just thinking them, which he couldn't stop doing as much as he had tried, felt like getting stabbed in the heart repeatedly. The words were complex, precise, and detailed many horrors to come. The message was simple. Daniel was about to die a horrible painful death. And that was only going to be the beginning of the story.

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I have no idea what this story is or if I will ever write more of it. But I couldn't help but write this down as it came to me just now so I will share it. Let me know what you think.

Friday, January 1, 2010

That's life for you...

Well it is a new year, 2010 now. What does that mean? Well it means I have to spend the year trying not to be annoyed at the people that think its a new decade already for one thing. Come on people, there was no year 0 so year 10 is still in the first decade. I mean I can understand why people think the way they do about it, but that doesn't make them any more right.

Anyway that's not really the point of this post, which as of yet doesn't really have one. Some updates on my life; got my car fixed this week. It had a few spots where it was leaking transmission fluid, and one oil leak too, and a few other minor problems and preventative maintenance things to be done.

It was weird to be without my car again so soon after having to leave it in the ditch for most of the week just a few weeks ago, but at least I didn't have to go anywhere this week as the place I work shuts down between Christmas and New Years. Which just means I'm going to have a really bad case of the Mondays next week when I have to go back to work.

I've cleaned my apartment up some, but not nearly as much as I meant to with this week off. Mostly I watch movies and played video games. Not a bad way to relax during my time off from work I'd say.

I've also spent some time thinking about the story I want to try to write. The main character is going to be a werewolf who has some sort of Fae as a friend. I haven't decided yet what kind of Fae exactly, maybe a leprechaun or a troll. And for that matter in my story world I think I want to present werewolves as just another subset of Fae, one that just happens to change shape into that of a wolf and have some wolf like abilities. I think the greater arc of the story is going to be about the world coming to grips with the recently exposed existence of the Fae, who have been secretly living among humanity from the very beginnings. But the focus of the story is going to be something smaller and more personal I think, just not sure what yet.