The Donkey and the Piano
Once upon a time there was a beautiful fairy princess that lived in an enchanted woods. Everyday she would go out and walk through the woods and talk to the animals. One day she came upon a talking donkey. "Fair maiden," said the donkey, "I am widely known as the best piano playing donkey in all the lands. But alas, the times are tough and none want to hear me play. If I don't play the piano I don't eat. Will you please let me play for you?"Morale of this story: Sometimes I'm just a talking ass that thinks he can make something beautiful.
"Good Sir Donkey," she replied. "Come back to my house and I will gladly feed you and listen to you play."
So they returned to her house and she laid out a feast for him to eat. And once his hunger was sated he proceeded to play the piano. From the piano came the most horrific jarring noise imaginable. The donkey's hooves slammed down on the keys breaking them as the noise was tortured out of the piano. After he had pulled every agonizing sound out of the dying piano he defecated on the floor and ran out the door never to be seen from again, and leaving the fairy princess with a table full of dirty plates and half eaten food, a destroyed piano and one hell of a mess to clean up.
I used to know this girl that liked to hear me create these stupid little romantic fairy tale type stories. I guess I'm a little out of practice.