Apathetically I sit and wonder, am I so apathetic because I have lost my heart, or did I lose my heart because I was so apathetic?
I once gave all my heart to someone I wished to spend the rest of my life with. They have since given it back, more or less whole, but yet I sit here feeling nothing. I cultivated apathy in my person to survive, or so I said, yet was it maybe always there and that why my heart was not good enough?
Further more does it matter? It was not meant to be so does any amount of reminiscing or whining on my part provide me with any constructive base to work from? Is my emotional foundation that much more unstable for this, or shall it be the cement that steadies my fractured history and provides me with stable footing to learn from my mistakes and move on and become a better person?
Such a difference a few years makes. Well enough with my whiny emo bitching. This was brought on by a conversation I was having with someone and I thought aspects of it would be enlightening to someone else potentially. If you can make sense of it good for you.