Monday, October 5, 2009

The greatest trick ever

The first five books of the bible are referred to as the Torah, which is often translated as "law," and traditionally believed to be written by Moses, even though the end of the fifth books describes events after his death. Moses is traditionally said to be a lawgiver. Let us take a quick look at his story and see what it is people believe he wrote about himself.

Well first off his own mother abandoned him and set him adrift in the Nile, supposedly to save his life, but realistically what chances does a three month old baby in a basket in the Nile have of surviving?

Then he was found by an Egyptian princess who gave him back to his own mother to raise until such a time as the princess came back for him and adopted him as her son. So he was raised as a Egyptian prince.

As an adult he killed an Egyptian who was beating a Hebrew slave and when the news got out he fled so he could not be arrested and punished for his crime. Some lawgiver you have yourself there. And this is the story he wrote about himself?

So no he is living out in the desert where he lived with a priest and married the priest daughter and started a family. Now this prince turned fugitive was tending the flock one day and went into the mountains, and there find a bush on fire and stared at it like an idiot forgetting all about the flock. And then the bush starting talking to him. So now we have a crazy fugitive prince slacking off on the job. And people have been listening to this guy's story for four thousand years? People really believe this guy?

So then God in the form of this burning bush tells him to go talk to the Pharaoh and tell him to let the Hebrews go and Moses says "But who am I to appear before Pharaoh?" (Exo 3:11) Well for one you idiot you are a prince. You grew up in the same household as the Pharaoh according to your own story so I think appearing before the Pharaoh shouldn't be a problem.

So Moses as an argue with God about why he isn't the right person to do this and no one will believe him. And one of the things God tells him to make believe he is a messenger of God is God's true name that God never revealed to any of the Hebrew ancestors before. How is a name they have never heard before suppose to convince the Hebrews that Moses is a messenger from their God? This is far more obvious if one were to read the bible in Hebrew I guess since in English translations God is always called God or the Lord or some such and you don't realize that at every point up to this on in the bible God has gone by different names to everyone He supposedly talks to. And of course Moses wrote it that way according to tradition!

But Moses continues to argue with God that nobody will listen to him so God gives him signs to preform to make people believe. The first sign to make people believe is the turning of his staff into a snake. (Exo 4:2-5) Um, wait a second! I seem to remember something about God and snakes from Genesis. Let us go back and take a look at that quick. Genesis 3:14 has God cursing the snake, that supposedly tricked and tempted Eve into eating the apple, to be man's enemy for all time. And now God is using a snake as a sign for Moses to preform so people will know for which god Moses is a messenger of? And people really believe this story? Moses wrote both of these books in this way?

The second sign given to Moses is the ability to stick is hand in his robe and when he pulls is out its "white as snow with leprosy," but when he puts it back in his robe and pulls it out a second time its healthy like the rest of him. So this sign is what exactly? He can give himself skin disease and heal it in an instant by repeatedly sticking his hand in his robe? What's in his robe I wonder? A bag of flour and a towel would do that trick I would think. Nothing real special there.

The third sign is pour river water on the ground and some how it was turned into blood. I have to wonder at this point how any of these signs are related to the god of the Hebrews? I don't seem to remember anything like these signs ever having been done to prove to anyone that its the Hebrew god before in the bible. So why are they the signs now?

So Moses eventually goes to Egypt to do God's bidding. But on the way God was going to kill Moses, except his wife preformed a circumcision on their son and God was appeased. (Exo 4:24) So why would Moses write that God was going to kill His own messenger before the message was even delivered? People really believe this story?

So Moses and his brother, who is a better talker than Moses, get to Egypt and preform their signs and tell their stories of what God told to them and the Hebrew believe them. I would like to point out at this point that time and time again during the exodus story the Hebrew people worship whatever god they and it always angers the Lord into killing some of them, so why would it be any different for them to believe what Moses had to say now? They seem to believe anything at this point.

So then Moses goes to the Pharaoh to plead his case to let the Hebrew people go. An interesting thing though, he tells the Pharaoh that they just want to go out into the wilderness for a three day religious festival. (Exo 5:3) Seems to me like God was talking a permanent leaving of Egypt and here Moses, His messenger and lawgiver, is lying to the Pharaoh about what the purpose of the trip really is.

Well Pharaoh is angered and refuses and starts to make the Hebrews make bricks without giving them straw. So now the Pharaoh is an idiot because what use would those bricks be? They would crumble apart. So because he is punishing them he punishes whatever project it is that those bricks were intended for. That right there is one of the dumbest punishments I've ever heard of.

Anyway Moses argues with God some more and God then says something really amazing. Exodus 7:3 "But I will cause Pharaoh to be stubborn so I can multiply my miraculous signs and wonders in the land of Egypt." So now Moses writes that God is a show off. That God could cause Pharaoh to do anything means He could have just made Pharaoh let the people go, but instead He makes Pharaoh hold them longer than Pharaoh actually wanted to just so that He could show off some more. Some god Moses has there! Ever time Pharaoh refused to let the Hebrews go free he punished them more, therefore God was the direct cause of the punishment of the Hebrews that He was in the process of trying to free all for His own ego.

I was going to go a little farther into the story but it's late and I'm tired so I'll jump to my theory on all this. It is said that, "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." I think this is wrong. I think the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that He was God and getting trillions of fools to believe in Him over the millenniums and cause countless pointless deaths over petty things like religious believes.

I know this is a theory that is going to anger a lot of people. Quite frankly I don't care. I have tried to read the bible with open eyes and an open mind and the more I read it the more I am convinced that my theory is, if not entirely true, at least closer to the truth than that which is preached in church.

1 comment:

  1. Amen. Kinda preaching at the choir where I'm concerned, but Amen.