Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Rain rain go away

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

In what furnace was thy brain?

Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war.

I could go on but I still don't know what it is that I'm trying to say. We are taught things in school but rarely told why, yet they constantly ask us why we answer questions in certain ways. Parents and older siblings always hate when a kid constantly asks "Why?" and yet I remember time and time again teachers asking me why or to explain my answer. They try to teach us to think and yet they always knock our feet from under us for thinking the wrong things or thinking things differently then they wanted us to think. Or maybe that's just faulty memories. I don't know. Maybe I want to be able to demonize them because I hated school. I love learning new things but hated they way they tried to teach me. I hated being told I had to learn this but couldn't learn that.

I hated this tread no more than when they tried to get me to explain what a poet meant by his words. I loved the way words would just flow. I didn't care what certain words were supposed to mean or what feelings those words were supposed to spark inside me. When I wrote I never cared if people understood my words or felt what I felt when I wrote them. I just wrote the words that flowed through my mind. Their meaning unimportant to anyone but me. I wrote to control the flood of emotions that were in me at the time. To let it all out in ways that would not break me or the things around me. And maybe later I will post some of those old poems just for the hell of it, since Geocities is taking down or as already taken down my site where they all used to be. Words of pain and confusion and darkness mostly, being a teenager when most of them were written, and not very popular to boot. Anyway this seems like enough for now. Enjoy chaos and randomness. Its good to let yourself go crazy every once in a while and let it all out of your system before something inside you snaps.

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